Today there is no shame in placing a child up for adoption, it is encouraged and the mother who made the decision with the best interest of her newborn child is commended and her life goes on. She has nothing to hide or be ashamed of. In today’s society, people have babies outside of wedlock, some continue their relationship without getting married, some raise the child on their own, some seek assistance from their families and some make a choice to give the child a better opportunity and place them in a family environment.
My Client became pregnant when she was 17 years old, a senior in high school with a boy she had been dating for a short period of time. Not only did she not inform her parents, but she didn’t tell her circle of friends. The father, a boy in the neighborhood was drafted into the Army and let her go through this experience alone. She wrote to him to let him know they were having a baby and he never replied. Her mother had taken her to the doctor and when the doctor told her mother she was 8 months pregnant, her mother took over all her decision making. She was not allowed to return to school, she was forced to live with a relative and the adoption process began. She had complications in child birth and She never got to hold the baby or see it. This, she was told, a part of her life that was over and was never to be discussed again. It wasn’t long after that “the boyfriend” returned to their small town and told a friend he had heard she was pregnant, but nobody could verify it, as it was kept a deep dark secret.
Forty-Five years later, she shared her story with her best friend, who had suspected she had a child, but it was never discussed. She and her friend decided it was time she found the son she had given birth to those many years ago. How to find a person wasn’t either of their expertise. They put together information they knew, it was a private adoption, the father’s name was not on the birth certificate and they knew when the adoption was completed, the birth certificate would be changed, along with a new first and last name. They knew the adoptive parents had lived in their town for a short while and then moved across country, or so they heard the rumors. A missing person investigation can be difficult enough when you know the individuals name and some background, but when you start from nothing it proves to be much more complicated. Our Client informed us the State had assisted her in finding the lists that adoptive children and parents who had put their child up for adoption could join and they found the adoption record, but both the adoptive parents had passed away and they child’s name was a common name so they were met with another dead end. knows how to locate people and how to find missing persons is something we do quite often.
Approximately a week after being hired, found our Client’s 45 year old son; he was living in Texas, was married, but did not have any children of his own. He was a tall muscular man, was a mechanic and traveled around the country repairing mechanical lifts and that is how they first met, when he had a business trip near her house. It has been two years; mother and son continue their relationship. At this time, the biological father has remained out of his life.
When you need to find a person compare the search with driving a car. Unless you have the knowledge or experience you can travel around blindly, but may never reach your destination.
Brenda McGinley, CEO, All in Investigations, All in Investigations